Talk:General Discussion/@comment-0332288-20141001153157/@comment-0332288-20141003091926

Thanks for all the feedback so far, I've learned a bit of my mistakes from this, like a rather unsatisfying ending. I didn't want to end it with some "happily ever after" absolute ending, instead I wanted a sort of "the war goes on" feeling where new events are still in motion in the world, just the plots focused on in the fic are over, but I suppose it does end up with an unsatisfying ending, much like sequel baits.

I will admit humor is not one of my strongpoints, and my sense of humor is kind of weird anyway. Reading through my own work I barely cracked a smile, though i tried (keyword: TRIED) to keep the fic light-hearted despite still having tension. On evaluation it's partly because I'm bad at cracking original jokes, partly just the character personality since it's in first-person for most of the fic.

I'm honestly surprised so many people find the fic that dark, even the Akatsuki torture scene was faked and she wasn't actually hurt. Hell a few places I even went out of my way to justify actions by Abyssals and the crew, or at least make the human military/Fleet Girls as bad. I wanted a gritty, more realistic world where both sides will resort to morally questionable methods to win, only difference being how far they're willing to go and what compromises they take. I guess maybe it's a matter of target audience, or maybe I'm just naturally dark? Like, what scenes were especially "disturbing" and for what reason?

As for OCs, yes I probably put too much emphasis on them despite it being a fan fic. I figured there's so many fics detailing the Fleet Girls/Abyssals anyway I wanted something original to work with and incorporate into the world. Looking back on it MAYBE I could've used a Princess as the main character. Heck, just have all Princesses as the staff even, I barely gave them any role in the story. One of the fun points of making fanworks for KanColle is that character personalities and traits are loose, much like Touhou. Speaking of Princesses how WOULD one show their verbal tic in english anyway?

Either way thanks again for the feedback so far, glad you found my writing competent even if the content isn't to your taste, hopefully I can improve from this experience :)