User blog:Tadano Hitoshi/Ragtag Hustle Kancolle Edition - Relations

Relations

Aoba: "Hello there! Aoba here. Together with me is the Admiral. This will be an open-for-all talk session with me as the moderator and the Admiral as our panelist!"

Admiral: "... Excuse me, what is this talk session even about?"

Aoba: "Heh heh. You'll know when we'll start!"

Admiral: "You can do it like that? I thought something like this would've required notices to be handed out to its panelists in advance. Anyway we sure have quite the audience here... or rather, isn't everyone from our fleet here?"

Aoba: "It isn't called an open-for-all session for nothing, you know."

Admiral: "Well, whatever. I'm curious to know what is it that we're going to talk about today that we need to have a session like this."

Part 1: About Admiral
Admiral: "About me? What else is there for you lot to know about? I'm a male human given the title of Admiral assigned to this post to handle you people, or is there anything else you would like to know?"

Aoba: "Probably your age? You look young but you don't seem to be a child in terms of your demeanor."

Admiral: "Just wondering, do I know anyone who would make you ask me this?"

Aoba: "Eh? No, no! It's all a set of questions that has been agreed upon by everyone! To be honest, I'm also quite curious, you know."

Somewhere in the audience a certain blond-haired cruiser in blue was shaking excitedly in her seat.

Admiral: (I can see you from here you know.) "My age? I'd say I'm quite legal enough to drink, it's just that for whatever reason my growth was retarded since I last looked like this. People say that everyday training makes your body grow and adapt, but in my case my body adapted itself in a peculiar way. My instructor was inhumanely strict, so the deed itself isn't pretty to be seen I'd rather not have you ask about it. By the way, even though I said I am legal enough to drink, I don't actually drink."

Aoba: "Why?"

Admiral: "I'd rather keep my mind sound. I know most of you girls act really weird when you are drunk, and it is a mess to clean up. Even the most straight-laced of you turn into something else after you drink. I know, drinking after a good day's worth of work is a way to relieve the stress accumulated during work hours, to the point it's part of our everyday. But even then... I would rather not have you make me drink. Please. If after this I catch you trying to make me drink, I'll make you run non-stop at the Kis Islands. Expeditioners, be warned as well."

There was a lot of giggling in the audience.

Admiral: "You all think I'm being funny, but seriously, please. All right, what's next?"

Aoba: "Well, your refusal to drink may have something to do with your place of origin, sir. Everyone's keeping this mum for quite some time but there's suspicion that you're not a Japanese native, your mannerisms are too odd to be one, plus you have quite the broken grasp on our language as well as the inability to write Kanji by hand. Where did you come from, actually?"

Admiral: "After all this time? What are you going to do if I tell you the truth? Vote for the higher-ups to kick me out and replace me with a new officer from your own people?"

Aoba: "You're too paranoid, Admiral, you're our Admiral after all so we thought it wouldn't hurt for us to know more about you. Besides, you're personable enough for us to follow. But really, you don't act like the typical Admirals we've known from our soil either so I guess it's interesting to know how a foreigner handles the task of being our Admiral."

Admiral: "All right. I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag. Everyone, do you remember the time you supported the invasion of Malaya? Me here as a descendant of one of the natives there says hello. Now having that said, how does this make you feel?"

''There was no response. Everyone was looking at each other, murmuring things.''

Aoba: "O-oh. So you were a descendant of a Malayan native... e-eh? This sure feels awkward."

Admiral: "My grandmother in heaven says thanks for her ruined school certificate, but that's there to it."

Aoba: "Are you perhaps angry for her behalf...?"

Admiral: "No, not at all. If you're all feeling sorry for that time, I say you don't need to. That was that time and this is this time. It's all in the past now. I just love giving you people hints and I chose to phrase it that way just so I can amuse myself looking at your responses."

Aoba: "In other words, you're enjoying the schadenfreude."

Admiral: "Exactly! ... Ehem. Well, sorry for the guilt trip. I was just expecting a surprised reaction, didn't expect you would react that way. Anyway, that Malaya now is known in the modern-day maps as Malaysia, in case you aren't being up to date with information from the current era. Also you know what happened to Singapore that was part of Malaya back then? They became their own country."

Aoba: "That small island which held the last of the British garrison during the February 1942 operations? Amazing! Well, the same could be said to your own homeland though. Also I think the modern-day Japan and your home region are having some good relations all these years."

Admiral: "Good times, good times. Well, I can't have much praise for my own homeland for the time being, though. Politics is dirty business, I'd rather not even think about what's going on there right now. Well, we're in a world where everyone is busy trying to deal with naval blockades caused by the Abyssal forces right now so... uh, yeah."

Then a voice in the audience started shouting "It's the damn Army! We had to help them clean up for so much of their mess!"

Admiral: "Ah, the Army. I did read that while your folks are sometimes at loggerheads with them, even teaching personnel sent from your homeland to schools in mine were having so much trouble with the military police (kenpei) formed by them. So... I take it you guys hate the MPs as much as my ancestors did back then?"

A resounding cheer was heard from everyone.

Admiral: "My, so we do have a lot of things in common after all. MPs do really get in our way for a lot of things, eh? But I guess enough history talks. Too much of it isn't really fun to talk about. So Aoba, what am I to answer next?"

Aoba: "Well, it's time for a new topic then! Without further ado."

Part 2: Food and Culture
Aoba: "During last summer, there's a lot of curiosity about the way you make shaved ice. Like, there's a lot of things on top of it, it's just so colorful! Just what did you put in it?"

Admiral: "I'm just copying the most common recipe I've seen back from my homeland. I'm very thankful we have a lot of ingredients to make up for it, but there are some I still need to manage by hand. Usually what I will put is some sweet corns with cream, grass jelly, red beans, and a little bit something we call it 'rose syrup'... and condensed milk. There are a lot of other toppings we can put on it such as a scoop of ice cream or two, and basil seeds - these things look like frog spawn when soaked in water, but they're much, much nicer than you think it is... Akagi, Kaga and Souryuu, you three are drooling, wipe that away. I'll tell Mamiya and Irako on how to prepare it for everyone soon so don't worry."

Akagi: "N-no! We are totally not expecting you to make them for us! It's just... it's just that we unknowingly reacted to it!"

Souryuu: "Y-yeah! Right, Kaga-san?"

Kaga: "This is truly exhilirating... Oh my. I wet my skirt."

A/S: "Kaga-san!! Don't blow our cover like that!! And you're drooling buckets already!! Stop saying you wet your skirt with it so casually!"

And there was much laughing.

Admiral: "There are a lot of ways I can make desserts from shaved ice, given I know how to do it and if there are enough ingredients. There's a simpler one which involves palm sugar specifically produced from my home region, but for that I'll need to be able to get my hands on chendol."

Aoba: "Chen... dol?"

Admiral: "It's a kind of jelly produced from rice flour, it looks a little bit like green grass but it's not actually made from any. It's usually served with shaved ice along with the palm sugar liquified and mixed with coconut milk, making it a nice thing to have on blazing hot days. ... Which is every day over there when it is not raining. I don't really have access on how to make it so I guess we might have to wait for the day where we are assigned to operations in the southern region near to my homeland."

Aoba: "All of these sounds nice... Are there anything else?"

Admiral: "I'll have to see if I can get the headquarters to approve of my proposals to supply the required ingredients. That'll take some time until they probably notice it, though, I don't have much of a high profile here do I? Also, if the situation permits, I'll see if the canteen's menu can be revised to add some of the dishes I know of. Just so you know, people in my region love spices, so by extension I also love them. If you find something too spicy to your tastes, please do tell me. Which brings me to the topic of some girls here... Ashigara, Hiei, are you two listening?"

Ashigara: "E-eh? Me!?"

Hiei: "Hiiieeee!?"

Admiral: "It came to my attention as to why everyone isn't eating anything much from you two. Both of you, I realized you were using large amounts of red naga chillies. Despite being a spice lover, not even I can stand the heat from such chillies so I'm telling both of you to cut down the use of it. I'll be giving you some tips so that I can re-evaluate your cooking duty schedules, so stand by in the pantry near my office later."

Ashigara/Hiei: "Hieeee..."

Aoba: "Speaking about food, something reminds me: we're approaching the end of Summer, and there's the Summer night festival! What do you plan to do for it, Admiral?"

Admiral: "Food stall, obviously? Maybe I'll enjoy the fireworks from my stall, though, but anyone who wants to come and have a taste, they shall have it."

Aoba: "You hear that, everyone!?"

The audience were abuzz with excitement in response.

Aoba: "Well, that sounds like a nice plan for you. But don't you have any interest in joining us for the fireworks?"

Admiral: "You want to join me by the stall? I think we can get a nice view from there."

Aoba: "Some could help you though, but I'd rather be able to go around at the festival."

Admiral: "Have it your way, then."

Aoba: "Okay, so that concludes this topic I guess. Now let's move on to the next. This is one topic everyone is so excited to hear about from you, Admiral, are you ready?"

Admiral: "... I don't have a good feeling about this..."

Part 3: Admiral's Taste in Ladies!

Admiral: "... I knew it."

Aoba: "Hehe... Of course, the best topic is saved for the last!"

Admiral: "Just how curious are you people about this?"

Aoba: "... Verily."

Admiral: "So that's why this talk was held in the first place with me as the only panelist, then?"

Aoba: "Well, you're the one man here! Of course you're going to draw a lot of attention. So let's get down to it: Do you have any particular someone in mind, Admiral?"

Admiral: "No, why?"

Aoba: "That quick response was disappointing, though. Not even anyone from here?"

Admiral: "Well, I wish I had time to think about it."

Aoba: "Oh, so that means you did consider?"

Admiral: "The problem is, this is not something I would like to talk about out loud. Besides there's so many of you. I would dedicate all of my being for everyone, but having only one of you as my special little snowflake isn't something I would like to do. Therefore, it's of my choice that I don't want to pursue anyone in that fashion here. I hoped that we could continue to operate as organized personnel with good relations, nothing more than that. Having me pursue something serious with one of you would mean what I've been striving for is useless. I want all of you to be happy. I know this is a pretty disappointing response from me but please. We are operating as a team. I can't afford to lose anyone over emotional breakdown from my refusal."

''The crowd was silent. An uncomfortable atmosphere fills in the room.''

Admiral: "Well, that was quite a downer. Though I suppose if you'd like to hear it, I can probably tell some things I noticed about some of you, I think some of them are pretty... impressionable for me. Let's hear them as if we're close friends and have a good laugh about them."

Aoba: "Oh?"

Admiral: "Let's start. Maya, I know you've been keeping some magazines of questionable content. The one thing I never bothered to do around here is surprise inspections. Not that I'd confiscate them, but you wouldn't want me to know what those are, would you?"

Maya: "W-w-w-what!? Well... t-those aren't mine!"

Admiral: "Then whose were they?"

Maya: "Uuuuuhhh... Atago-nee, as far as I remember...?"

Atago: "Oh my, Maya, it's not good to lie, you know? All of the magazines I have are mostly ladies' magazines."

Maya: "Those you have aren't exactly not questionable either!! Admiral! You believe me, right? Or rather, you do read them too don't you! You're a man, right!? You're lying if you say you don't!"

Admiral: "You don't have to get so worked up about it. Also, I've never seen the contents of magazines of that kind, honest."

Maya: "LIES!!! Are you into men or something!? I mean, apart from you we're all women here! Don't you like, jack off too!?"

Admiral: "... 'Too'...?"

Maya: "... Ah."

Admiral: "So you're a healthy adult woman too, glad to know that."

Maya: "NOOOOOO!!! That's not it!!! Damn it, you don't have to bring me up do you!? Now everyone knows what I've been trying so hard to hide! Argh!!"

Admiral: "It seems I'm one of the last people to know about your hobby, though?"

Maya: "Huh!?"

Takao (patting Maya in the shoulder): "I say that this is nuts, but apparently we women can be unsightly beasts just like men are after all. I guess this is why we have a rather passive Admiral who's hard to approach for skinship like Kiso-san said."

Atago: "Oh my, Takao, you don't have to say it that way~ Anyway, Admiral? I'm your first heavy cruiser but it does seem to me you're favoring Tone-san who came after me a fair lot~?"

(beat)

Admiral: "Oh, uh... yeah, I do appreciate you as my first heavy cruiser, but..."

Atago: "Even Maya and Choukai who came much later got more training than me, do you have a special preference or something...?"

Admiral: "Atago... let me set this straight. We were in dire straits because we were joining the other Admirals in a large scale operation last month despite having supply shortage, so I needed everyone who could provide immediate maximum combat potential in the frontline as fast as possible. Now that we're back to peace times, please, rest assured you're going to get the training you need in due time, and I'm already moving on to realize that. Besides, everyone needs to be able to contribute in some way or another in the future, so that we can cover a lot of shortcomings we've had in the past month. I'm not going to stop with just anyone. Everyone has to work, me included."

Atago: "Fufu~ make sure you fulfill your promise then~"

Admiral: "In due time."

Aoba: "That's quite a stir here. So, uh, anything else you'd like to share, Admiral?"

Admiral: "Ashigara."

Ashigara: "Eh? Another mention of me? What now I wonder?"

Admiral: "You attend mixers a lot, huh. How did those go?"

Ashigara (looking left and right, then sighs): "... Not so stellar."

Admiral: "I see. Mind if I be your company sometime?"

(beat)

Ashigara: "E-eh!? Admiral, you want to be my company in mixers!? B-b-but...!"

Admiral: "Don't get me wrong. It's just that after these mixers you look so pitiful I just can't stand by and watch. I'll just wait somewhere for you to be done and get you back here once you're done. You returned to base pretty drunk most of the time, I just don't want funny things to happen on your way home."

Ashigara (flustered): "I-if you say that then..."

Admiral: "This goes to all of you. If you need me as company, just ask. If it's a reasonable request then I'll hear it."

Aoba: "Is that all, Admiral?"

Admiral: "For now, yeah. There are many other things about all of you I can't help but notice, but I can't be bothered to remember them all now. So are we over yet?"

Aoba: "I guess with that, we are. All right! As tonight's closing, I'll be distributing copies of some special limited edition of Admiral's photos, each for 7000 yen! Grab it while stocks last!!"

Admiral: "What the...!? When did you snap these!?"

Aoba: "Hehe... just as much as you're a sniper, I'm a sniper by my own way too! Man, to think the Naval Base had so many strategic places to capture these things...! Technology nowadays sure is amazing."

Admiral: "AOBAAAAA!!!"

And then in the next morning there was much lecturing by the Admiral for the morning assembly, with Aoba sitting on the stage with weights on her lap.

--

Somewhere away from the Naval Base, night time

Air Defense Princess: (.. The late summer sea and sky looks so beautiful. What is he doing now I wonder? ... Wait, why am I thinking of that loser?)