User:Headlessnewt

Began collecting shipgirls 5/9/14, right after the Spring 2014 event. Back (maybe) after extended break because I couldn't muster enough give a fucks for Summer 2015. Dafuq is all this? American ships? Russian ships? Land-based aircraft? DEs?!? (that aren't DEs at all but we're calling them DEs because Kaibokan have no USN equivalents?!)

Can read moonrunes and talk moonspeak. Does translation cleanups, as well as prettify language and pick nits with wording, layout and overall wiki design. Writes or something for a living in RL. Likes Japanese language, anime weirdness and military history, among other things. Is responsible for the creation of the Historical Formations and Historical Fates & Sinkings pages.

Does not have a favorite shipgirl. Leaves no shipgirl behind, also refuses to keep clones around. It's creepy and messes with my internal narrative.

Has a long internal narrative, including extensive theorizing on the Industrial Magical Girl nature of Shipgirls, their origin, creation and purpose and their relationship to the Abyssals. It more or less meshes with the anime 'canon'. Hates the idea that shipgirls 'possess' normal girls or can 'stop being' shipgirls. No. Shipgirls are only ever shipgirls.

Minmaxing is for losers who don't believe in the power of love. Addicted to Kai Nis (In Need of Remodeling: Kuroshio, Yuugumo, Suzuya, Musashi, Kagerou, Shiranui, Kumano, Tama, Kinu, Ise, Shinyou).

Destroyers are not for lewds!

Kaibokan are also not for lewds!

Server:  幌筵泊地     Current Admiral Level:  110

Favored Shipgirls

 * Akagi - I didn't care for her much at first, but ever since she got her slip-of-the-tongue idle line I've really adored how she's both a slightly silly woman who loves to eat and a serious, proud member of the First Carrier Division.
 * Kirishima - First Battleship.  Mike check mfers.
 * Mutsu - 爆乳. Also she's a sweetheart.
 * Takao-class:  Takao was my first Heavy Cruiser and one of my longest-standing secretary ships.  Maya-sama is just badass.  Choukai is another lovely smart glasses girl who knows her shit in night battles.  And Atago is Atago.
 * Inazuma - Starter.  Good girl.  I really should have gone with Sazanami in retrospect, but her original CG...
 * Goya - Best submarine-dechi.  First provisional wife.  Why do all the fanworks write her as a ruthless bitch to all the new girls though?  She's nice.  Now rescued from the eternal hell of Orel Cruising by Phase 2.
 * Suzuya, Kumano - You girls are literally so great.  Though I'm getting really tired of people drawing Kumano's boobs the same size as Suzuya's.  Weirdest pet peeve.  Also no lie I'm not happy about you both needing two blueprints each, 'specially when I'm probably not gonna use you as CVLs...
 * Yuugumo class - I'm not sure why, but you're my favorite set of destroyers.  Maybe it's the uniform.
 * Souryuu - Second Provisional Wife.  Best CV.
 * Kongou - Basically the perfect woman. Third Provisional Wife.
 * Kuroshio - You were my first Kagero-class and I've always thought you were adorbs.
 * Ryuuhou - Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggg.
 * Yamato - Big heart, big guns.
 * Asashio-class - I LOVE your K2 Artworks.  Worth the blueprints.
 * Shoukaku - Zuizui is fun, but I like Ms. Misfortune so much more.

Missing Shipgirls

 * Foreign Girls:  Graf Zeppelin, Iowa, Saratoga, Gambier Bay, Intrepid, Samuel B. Roberts, Zara, Pola (Especially looking forward to captain vino joining us), Luigi Torelli, Warspite, Ark Royal, Jervis, Commandant Teste, Richelieu, Gangut, Tashkent
 * Akizuki's little sisters - Teruzuki (very want), Hatsuzuki, Suzutsuki
 * Kamikazes - Kamikaze, Asakaze, Harukaze, Matsukaze, Hatakaze
 * Auxiliaries - Kashima, Kamoi, Kasuga Maru (I know she's a CVL but compared to the rest she's an auxiliary)
 * Filling out the Classes - Okinami, Yamakaze, Amagiri, Minazuki, Hamanami, Fujinami
 * Little Bits - Kunashiri, Etorofu, Sado, Tsushima, Hiburi, Fukae - Matsuwa is sad drinking alone  with just Shimushu for company.  And seriously, I want your cheap refuel costs to help me build my stockpile back up.
 * Swimsuit Brigade - I-14, I-400

Other Girls

 * Kisaragi - Let's keep this professional,  young lady.  Though you're a sweet girl and I'm glad that whoever the TTK was in the anime got a fresh non-abyssalized drop of you.
 * Ooi - A very honest and emotional girl. With lots of torpedoes. I don't dislike that.
 * Fusou, Yamashiro - Prettiest battleships.  Yamashiro was also the second one I ever got.  I really miss Fuso K1's damaged art after remodeling them both, though.
 * Asashimo - You're not the cutest (though I dig the shark teeth and the "Ace da ze" attitude) or the strongest, but the fact that I waited for you the longest will always matter.  Welcome home.
 * Uzuki - You know, your voice annoys the shit out of me, but putting you in charge of bringing me buckets has made me much happier to hear it.
 * Maruyu - If I said I was sorry, would it how much I make you suffer more acceptable? I wouldn't mean it, though.  Well, I guess I'm nicer now that 3-2-1 is gone, but you're still an Army girl who barely qualifies as a submarine.

Public Shaming Space
Girls Have Been Good Lately

Warning List:
 * Shiratsuyu - Stop getting hit by torpedoes.  Not that I dislike the look of you with your clothes destroyed, but you have a job to do, young lady.
 * Urakaze - I mean, I know you've never been good at not getting hit by submarines, but really, now's a good time to learn.