User blog:Tadano Hitoshi/Ragtag Hustle Kancolle Edition - Meditation - Eve of Fall Operations

Kuso Shorts with Kuso People in a Kuso World
(T/N: Kuso here means Shitty :^) )

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Controversy Of Ages
''Back then most people didn't really care much about these cases. But now as there are more Admirals who manage each of their own naval bases around the world, I've started to see some things that people used not to mind so much, but then increasingly became more unacceptable for some people, somehow. Probably it's because that when there's more people gathered in a place, as a bigger collective majority they start noticing and nitpicking some things that the once smaller community might have not cared about at all.''

One case in point: Young Admirals.

''"Young" as in not just young adults. Like military college graduates and the like. I speak of even younger youths, that kind of young.''

Those who look like they just barely passed primary school.

Often I do hear these remarks.

"What the fuck? I thought you need to be of the legal age (18 as I observe) to qualify as an Admiral for the ship girls?"

"Aren't they just a bit too young for that?"

''Well, doubts about the age requirement is something most people would raise when they saw these children playing and running around happily with the destroyers... sometimes with the much more mature ones as escort. Or possibly leading them in the other way round.''

''... By the way, before you ask, I am very aware that I look just as young as these children. I am not that young myself however, but I have people who would rather think I'm faking my age. Well, my nationality was faked, but my year of birth is real. Those as I observe tend to be bitter with the younger ones... or as they call them, "fucking shitty brats." ''

''Not exactly "fucking shitty brats" per se in English as Japanese to my knowledge is a pretty flowery language that you can hide what you actually mean which leaves a lot of opportunities for venomous jabs masked as playful banter, but I think I've been loitering in my observation for too long I started to see through the pretentiousness. "Silk hiding steel", was that the idiom?''

"Letting these shitty brats become Admirals? Do they even know what the fuck it means to be one!? Let alone doing the damn job!?"

"Fuck them! I have way more qualifications and I have performed better anyway."

"Those shitty brats hogging all the attention... I want to be there damn it. Those girl's thighs should be mine to touch."

"Kids are shit anyways. Why the fuck would anyone let them on the job is way beyond me. Fuck this."

"This is no job for kids. It's a job for MEN. Grown MEN with responsibility and courage to face the unknown threat that is the Abyss. Kids should just stay at home and be good."

--

The Hidden Sins
''It goes without saying that some of them... with the harsher remarks, if I want to be a bit more lenient in my observation - those in mind would also happen to be perpetrators of various cases of ship girl abuse that went unnoticed in several bases. Don't ask, I have ways to know them even if I don't want to. This is what happens when you get on the fairies' friendly side. To some they they're just workers who help with our everyday upkeep of the naval bases, but I do believe in the existence called the "Almighty Janitor."''

''One case that I've gotten from the fairies' hearsay involved a certain Takao (even though to the public the ship girl called "Takao" is a singular, unique entity, to each Admiral they can be multiple unique individuals with unique dog-tags). Unfortunately I refused to hear the end of the story. It turned out pretty much to be what I don't want to know. What makes the story worse is that said Takao wasn't completely without faults herself, either. If I had to judge, I would have called for a closed-doors court martial on both. ... Actually when I think back of it, I could've pulled ranks to make it happen... The perpetrator was a vice-admiral, while I was a star higher... but that's only if I happen to be serving the same area that base. Still, there's no going back in time trying to exact your brand of justice where you think it should happen, because you will then have to reason with that bastard who will then say he's just doing that exact same brand of justice I want to bring down on him.''

''Being compared to that "brand of justice" is revoltingly insulting. What I see before me is no man, it's a being with their heads located down there. Yes. Down there. Beings powered by lust.''

''Besides, I'm not one for such trifling tasks, I'd rather go corporal. That's the only way I can stop short of actually ending one's life, since I'm actually trained to kill, something possessed only by a few remarkable individuals I have observed even before the onset of my Admiral career.''

''Too many of these perpetrators got away scot-free, no repercussions, Karma Houdini and everything. The fairies see it all. To know from them first-hand is heartbreaking, nevertheless.''

''There's also an indirect contributor to this train of thought that motivated their negativity over having minors as officers despite said minors actually having a degree of competency in fleet management, and I'd like to believe that the ships manifesting themselves as human girls only made it a hell lot easier - for both them and the youths in charge of them. ''

''That said, though... this is a country where "age is seniority" is something they tend to push around to the younger generation a lot here. A lot of the elders think they can just act like whatever they want because their age guarantees they are always right no matter what common sense, rationality and democracy dictates. Not like there aren't any sensible, respectable elders around but the tendency to have the more irresponsible ones included in the mix is also a conundrum.''

''I won't speak for or against the young girls in the same age as the young boys... I try to not discriminate by gender. Keyword: I try. But as long as the fleet under their command is happy with them and are actually doing fine, I suppose it will be all right. But for the boys however... since I consider them as my fellow comrade-in-arms in meetings, I do have quite the sympathy for them. I won't tell how they tend to see me as a reliable older brother figure considering my age, though, since I consider them my seniors as I joined their ranks pretty late, actually.''

''I might be not one to speak for myself since to some people an adult with a child-like body is an unbelievable story that happens only in fiction. Sometimes reality betrays that expectation, but it's rare enough I guess some might say that reality is being unrealistic. That aside however.''

One of the reasons I try to be very, very cautious regarding shipgirl-Admiral relations is because of that case.

--

Epiphany
''... Come to think of it, this is very fucked up. In a lot of ways. I had to admit, the Ship Girl Fleet itself is a concept that defies logic. Warships of old... gaining souls like, what do they say? Tsukumogamis? Ah yes... that, and then somehow becoming human?''

''"I was like, ahahaha, what's that, it's like magic!... at first. But then I became an Admiral myself... they are really mysterious... and mystical. Yet there's this aura of familiarity when I'm with them. Perhaps it's indeed magic after all...?" so commented one of the boys I know of.''

''There are people who are willing to forgo the illogicality of the concept altogether because what they see pleases their heads down there. These are also people who goes on to try to justify why they are the right people for the ranks of an "Admiral" who leads the Ship Girl Fleets... while whatever that are not them are otherwise unsuited.''

''Women? "I don't mind some girl on girl action. But it's a job for MEN. Like ME."''

''Young boys? "Shitty brats. That's a post for grown men LIKE ME."''

''Young girls? "Same case with female Admirals. They should stay at home and be good little girls, though."''

''Non-humans? "Are you fucking kidding me? Are you sure those aren't mascots instead?"''

''Some of what I hear are pretty self-centered thoughts. You know? Those with the "The world runs on me dammit. I am the god damn guy for everything here" mentality. They won't admit it, but it brushes off to some people that way.''

Ah, world and its strange ways.

''Maybe that's why I was refused death. So that I can learn to live in this crapsack world.''

''... Well, I still have faith in humanity, if that helps. I'm not to the point where I am seeing the Abyssals as the true angels of salvation humanity severely deserves but are not what they want.''

''Not yet. Or rather, between me and them, it's a personal thing.''

''... You, out there. One day, if we meet again. One day.''

--

~ Unknown, Present Time ~
A????: "So, how was your meditation? Heh heh, I didn't try peeking into it this time, honest!"

B????: "How am I to be sure you are not lying, old geezer?"

A????: "Well, that one time was because you looked like your little troubled soul was about to be separated from your body. I ain't letting that happen any time soon, boy. It's be a pretty shameful thing to have you go like that while on meditation, methinks!"

B????: "Hah... you and your sarcastically cheery tone of speech. Are your other dimension peers like that as well?"

A????: "Whaddya say, boy... it runs in the family."

B????: "YOU have FAMILIES!? YOU!?"

A????: "Hey, we used to be human too, you know."

B????: "I guess Lord Almighty does indeed work in mysterious ways, if you can somehow turn into the Pale Rider like that."

A????: "That 'Pale Rider' thing is in these books people write, you know. They just can't go without giving me a name to remember by. I don't really like riding horses, but at that time that's the one mode of transport available, though!"

B????: "Well at least you don't seem to be like how those emo kids seem to worship you as."

A????: "Emos? Hell no! Ewww!!! Why would I agree to be a representative deity for them!? If I could I would've just shown myself to them and shatter every image they have of me by saying they should stop being such negative, sad slobs with stupid hair or I'll refuse to get them even to Styx's river bank!!! But Le Almighty said 'Thou shalt not!' ... Oh well I'd better shut up now. The thunder's rolling to find me. I might've been fried by now if I didn't stop. Sorry, Big Boss..."

B????: "The Order of What Moves the World Around is sure a funky company to work for if they can afford to employ nutcases like you."

A????: "Thank you for the compliment! I shall make that part of my testimony for my promotion paths. And I shall name you as the Sagely Young Man in it! Don't worry, we're thinking about opening up new job vacancies as well! ... Maybe you'll have to wait until the universe goes kaboom and I get my vacation, though."

B????: "That's no way to say 'apocalypse now'... D'uh, you're welcome. And thank him on my behalf, will you."

A????: "Eh, you can just say it right here and Big Boss's sure to hear it!"

B????: "Yeah, but that doesn't make any difference than say, just keeping it to my heart."

A????: "Tch, you're no fun. ... Your phone, boy."

B????: "Ah, it must be my fleet flagship."

A????: "I guess I'll take my leave now. Sounds like she'd be... mortified... if she knows who I am! Heh heh, get the joke?"

B????: "... You call that one? Piss off... Master."

A????: "Bye bye, mah boi~!!!"

The phone is picked up.

B????: "Hello... Ah, yeah. New intel? Yeah, I'm keeping tabs on it as we speak. ... Yeah. See you in five hours. Laters."