User blog:Arvin30p/Summer with you – Samidare Version

Prologue:
I love Samidare, she is the reason why I am here at the first place. She was the reason why I strived so hard to arrive at this current moment I am in. She was my raison d être for making it this far. And, the reason why I have delayed my answer to my closest friend of all times, Kino (Kinugasa). But as of late, Samidare is not saying much of what she wanted to say. She just supports everyone who have sincere feelings towards me, but haven’t supported her own love. Even so, a part of is simply my fault for falling for someone else. But…

“Master, you must be sincere at all times.”  That what would Sazanami would say to me every time I felt something is wrong. “Hiro, you must always have to be aware of someone’s feelings.” Kino would say this every time I made a girl cry. “It’s alright. I will be here then if things are bad.” Isonami would say this if I ever mess up. “If you ever need an advice for anything, just come to me. I’ll help you.” Suzukaze would mention this every time I ask her a favor.

But normally, Samidare would have given me a word everytime something happens. “Admiral, no matter what happens. I will be there to support you, at all times.” This time, before the quarterly operation starts. I will do something to know Samidare’s feelings once more. Even if it hurts me… Even if it breaks me… I will accept it, because I know what to do when that happens. �

The Seal
I invited Samidare to have some tea in the city. Normally, she easily understood what I meant with that so she decided to give me her reply that instance and So, with that We have decided that we will do it at that moment. Suzukaze who was standing at the front door was already waiting for us. She spoke to Samidare first and gave her good luck on such occasions and after that she came to me and give me a piece of paper.

“Admiral, when you felt that you can’t connect well with Samidare; You can tear this paper. But you need to tear it with her for it to work.” Suzukaze had a serious expression unlike her usual playful one. “It’s not an item, right?” I asked as I looked at the piece of paper which looked like a ticket. “Don’t worry. It’s my homemade charm. I even asked Hachi on how to make one?” Suzukaze replies as she whispers in my ears. As I remembered, Hachi did said that she was once a Shrine maiden so was it related to Shinto spells? Knowing Hachi, she could have just come out and hit me with a Ying-Yang orb or a gohei. Wait, I am not imagining that red-white miko afterall. Kidding asides, what bothered me is that Suzukaze was one of the co-conspirators here. I guess she might have anticipated something that she has given me this suspicious piece of paper.

Samidare looks at me and she smiled at me as she waits for Suzukaze to let go of me. As far as I can remember, I know whenever she smiles like that, it’s bad new so I decided to end the conversation at that instant

“Well then, good luck on your journey then.” Suzukaze shouted as she waves goodbye to the two of us. For some reason, Sazanami is quiet now maybe because she didn’t have any right words to say at that time. But even so. All she did is to bid farewell to us as she watches us exit the gates.

“Hiro-san, I look forward on this date.” Samidare speaks as she holds my arm. And even so, this uneasiness I feel. I have no recollection of this at all…

�

== Different Wavelengths==

Samidare and I went to the beach to sit at the shore-side. Normally, the beach is usually filled with people. But in times like this; not all beaches are safe for use and so, not a lot of people are out to play at the sea. I still haven’t given thought about the ticket Suzukaze gave me. But I wonder if I will ever have to use the ticket. “Hiro-san, Why here? I mean, we can go to where people would go?” “I felt that this is a good place for us to talk. Well, just really nothing much to do anyways.” “I see…” Samidare had a forced smile on her face as she moves closer to me.

Samidare who I haven’t seen for so long was found one day when I was still a soldier of the country and I managed to rescue them before they were killed. But even so, there are a lot of them that I didn’t managed to rescue.

“Samidare, I wonder if you are avoiding me at times or am I just imagining it.” “You are imagining it.” For some reason, Samidare completely dodges that question. “Samidare, do you like me?” “I do Hiro-san.” “But do you love me for I am the Admiral or for being myself.” Samidare didn’t replied to this question too. Per one of my colleagues who seemed to have much known about girls. Samidare is the type who would support others, would smile if she must. But always wearing a series of masks that no matter how many of those I tried to shed, she just won’t open herself at all. And so, I decided to bet on that possibility that Suzukaze gave me. Even though I am reluctant to use it, but given on how things would go in the next few minutes. I really must do it after all.

“Samidare, hold the other side of the ticket.” I took out a piece of paper that was still clean from my pocket. “Okay.” Samidare hold the other end and I hold the other side. Even though it was just a possibility. Even though I might lose myself in this process, I just prayed. To the gods that allowed me to live on to the world. I prayed to them to answer one of my selfish requests.

And so, without a moment’s pause, I tore the ticket of possibility. Samidare realized what I did, but even so. I saw the opportunity that arise after that. And the world turns back to the time when everything is clear.

�

== Void==

After I tore the ticket apart, I find myself floating on an endless void. It was dark and I can’t even saw myself in this darkness. The void felt so cold and there was no hope on sight. Soon, there’s light that came inside me and it manifest right in front of me. It had a form that I am familiar with. Afterall, I saw Sazanami as she manifests right in front of me.

“Sazanami?” “I am Sazanami, but not the one you have promised to married. We are basically 2 fundamentally different people.” Somehow, the Sazanami I am talking with seems familiar to me. “Long time no see… my little brother.” As the other Sazanami said those words, a lot of things came to my mind. “I am here because you have somewhat use an item that would bend the rules of physics. But don’t worry. A lot of safety features were put into that charm. That Suzukaze sure knows a lot of cheat items. As expected of the Hero’s vassal.” For some reason, I never understood what she meant with those words at all. Even though the term Hero is basically a word that defines a person who have won a lot of battles and won the hearts of the masses.

Soon, the other Sazanami embraces me as we both fall over some distance. “To think I can see you once again. It’s truly a miracle. Anyways, take care.” “Who are you? And why do you call me younger brother if I am just an only child.” The Other Sazanami smiled as she lets go of me. “It’s because I am your big sister who have given all of my life to keep you alive and safe from this cruel world.” And so, as she parts with me, tears trickle down her face as she disappears from my sight. “Big Sister…” And before I knew it, I saw Samidare beside me and our fall slowly comes to an end. And soon, we woke up to the day when everything had ended.

�The Past
We found ourselves looking at the younger version of us as we fall from the sky. Judging from the force of the fall, I could have been killed in that impact, but even so; what surprises me is that we just float into the air and Samidare noticed it too. What’s even more amazing is that they can’t see us at all.

“What happened Hiro-san?” “I think, we went on a trip.” “This trip is making me sick.” “Sadly, we have to listen to them once more.” Samidare silently agrees with me as we both looked at the younger versions of us saying goodbye to one another.

After the two said their goodbyes, Samidare who is sitting at my side started to cry as she tries to tell her younger self to stop. But even so, Samidare’s voice can’t reach her younger self. “So, what was it that bothered you. I can see that you really don’t want to say goodbye to me.” “Hiro-san is unfair. After all the effort that I have put in to totally hide this pain that I had back then, you just blew it out in an instant. I hated that part of you.” “Sorry.” The reason why I came here is indeed to destroy those masks that she was trying to keep. “After you have left, you didn’t even manage to contact me at all. You have totally cut off our communications after all that. Hiro-san, you are so cruel.” After hearing those words, I was surprised to know that she didn’t heard anything from me afterall these times.

“But, I didn’t forget about you and I even send you letters weekly. I don’t know what happened but I have faithfully send all of them to you. Even if you didn’t reply to any of those; I blindly sent those letters as if I was a mad man waiting for your reply.” Samidare had a bewildered expression at her face as she heard those words coming out from me. “Liar. You just said that to make me feel better.”

And as she said those words, the time fast forwarded towards the time I was sending the letters.

== �The Letters from past==

Somehow, we skipped time and arrived at the time where I was sending those letters. After we saw those, Samidare fell silent since she saw that my words were true. But even so, who would do such a thing to make me and Samidare lose all contact.

And so, we follow the younger me towards the post office. After a while, we saw that the mailman received my letter called someone over the phone.

“Yes, we have young Master’s letter. Should we do what we normally do?” After those words were said, the man kept the letters on a different box.

“Wait!” I yelled out as I call the mailman. But as usual, he didn’t hear me. “I see. Hiro-san is telling the truth.” “I did send those letters to you every week until the last day of High School.” Somehow, I was quite honest that I have send all those letters on a timely fashion, but all in all, it was all screened and later, I learned that no letters were sent since they were burned afterwards.

“Hiro-san, why you didn’t send me some letters after High school?” “It’s because I have to move on. I decided to fulfil my promise to Kino.” Even though I tried to lie on my part, this is the case I really can’t lie at all. Was this the charm’s effect?

Samidare held my hand and she decided to return to our original timeline. And so, Samidare held my hand and she utter the words which were written at the back of the ticket.

“Samidare, do you still like me?” But before I can hear Samidare’s answer, my consciousness begins to fade. �

Healing
Samidare and I have return to our time and she cried tears as she saw the truth. I on the other hand, stay beside her until her tears run dry. After that, Samidare smiled at me and I didn’t felt any hostilities in her smile at all which makes me think that it’s her genuine smile that I am seeing at that moment. Soon, Samidare raises her hand and she shows me the ring that I have given to her. “Even though before… I can’t bring myself to love you since I am such a selfish girl who wanted to be recognized by you… In the end, I might have given up on loving you too… But even so, even if you try to reach my hand… I won’t be able to hold your heart. I don’t deserve all that attention you have given to me. Even though I am such an important person in your life. I feel like I won’t be able to fulfil the love that you needed. Sorry Hiro-san, I want to end this already.” Samidare tried to pull out the ring but I immediately stopped her from doing it. “Listen to me. Even if you think that you are not worth it. Please don’t try to throw it all away. Samidare, do you like me as I am?”

Samidare fell quiet after I asked that question. It seems that this time, she is indeed consulting her heart all in all. Soon, Samidare broke the silence by answering that question.

“Yes. I really, really like Hiro-kun despite all those things that happened before. Honestly, I am not worthy of your love.” “So, you are using -kun now.” “Well, I feel a bit closer now. But, I should really be true to…”

Before Samidare could even say a word, I decided to close her lips by putting mine in between. Samidare who was caught unaware was surprised to see me do that. After that, Samidare calmed down as she felt weak inside.

“Unfair.” Samidare said those words as she looks at me For some reason, I feel that everything has been resolved at this point. �

Epilogue:
The last part of the story, or rather; the punchline of the whole story. Samidare is indeed keeping her distance to me as a precaution, afterall… It’s a matter of the heart and time can only heal it. But as of now, I have finally understood why she is supportive of others. Because she doesn’t want them to end up like her from the past, which I think is good enough. But, I don’t want her to reject all the love that I am giving to her just because she feels she doesn’t deserves all of that.

To Suzukaze who have given me that charm, I asked her how did she managed to pull that thing off. She told me that it’s her duty to make sure all troubles would be resolved if Samidare is unable to do it. But rather than being too straight forward, her way of making it work out is bizarre in a different level. Hachi told me that it was indeed a dangerous spell that she tried to limit and if it was handled with carelessness, we could have been stuck back in that time. Talk about luck.

And so, later that night I summoned Samidare into my office, and this time, I have already received permission from the pink lady that I can do anything for if I pay her back three times of what I did. As a precaution; I decided to carry the unwilling Samidare into my room, to where the sounds couldn’t be leaked out; and there we talked a lot of things regarding love and the like. Of course, the sexy time is also included but I shouldn’t be mentioning this at all.

I still remember that time when we first say our goodbyes… ‘Even though we can be together, we are destined to be apart…’ Those words were meant to say that no matter what happens, I can’t stay with her due to the natural lifespan of human beings as a natural barrier on relationships between humans and ship-girls.

That’s why I asked for the impossible. That’s why I did the unthinkable. For me to continuously loving them. I decided to throw away my humanity and lived beside them until we all decide to retire together. And even so, my raison d être is still the same. But this time, I have everyone to help me fulfil it.